Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
