I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
