Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
