oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
