I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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