oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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