you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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