so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
