yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
