Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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