I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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