he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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