If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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