I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
