You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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