youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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