Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
