I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
