The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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