I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
