just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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