I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
There's always time for handjobs
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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