I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
