i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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