I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Sober January is a disaster.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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