we have pet lesbian snakes
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
