Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
