i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize