I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
