I got chris browned last night
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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