So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
no, he came in my armpit
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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