i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
