omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
