its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
In other news, I just burned my penis
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
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