and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
