I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We left the knife in your bed.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
