Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
