I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
