I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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