The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
