Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
