hotel room ftw
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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