whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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