I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
