Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I touched a dick in church today
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
