at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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