he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I am one with the molecules
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
