I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
