you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
