well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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