We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
