your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
