just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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