ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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