I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I showed him my bush... on skype.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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