Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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