She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
