They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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