how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
