pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I want to fling myself into the sun
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
