What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
