WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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