I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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