Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
