So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
